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Race to Space

by Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra

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Ross Pullen
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1.
Weightless 02:44
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SlimFast and Atkins work OK. Keto, Jenny Craig? There’s an easier way. The problem isn’t, what you eat. Blame the planet, under your feet. Still weigh too much, on a Martian base? You’ll weigh even less, in the vacuum of space. Sure your clothes, will still be tight. But technically is the best kind of right. You will weigh less, when you’re weightless.
2.
The Moon Landing 02:36
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First take one small step, Next take one giant leap. Dance like there’s one sixth gravity, like you’re in space oh so deep. Do the moon landing. Houston, we have a problem. I can’t hear you scream. Blast off on the dance floor. Make Buzz Alderin proud. Get your lunar groovin' on, Far above the clouds. Do the moon landing.
3.
So Many Switches 02:15
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Oh so, oh so, oh so, oh so many switches. This one analyzes air particles. This one tells us when fuel is low. This one pours hot chocolate, And dispenses tiny marshmallows. Oh so, oh so, oh so, oh so many switches. This one controls the thrusters. This one calls mission control. This one regulates oxygen. This one bakes a casserole. Oh so, oh so, oh so, oh so many switches. This one helps adjust my seat. This one queries the database. This one finds any snakes on board, And ejects them right out into space. Oh so, oh so, oh so, oh so many switches. This one dials in the stereo. This one reminds me when to blink. This one tells me what to do, Just so I never have to think. Oh so, oh so, oh so, oh so many switches.
4.
Big Tang Theory 01:52
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Orange-powdered dust, It’s no Sunny Delight. Worse than Kool-Aid, Yet it got the spotlight. First drink on the moon, Pairs nicely with cheese. Quenching the thirst, Of an all new species. Do the math, it doesn't add up. There was a cover up, I guess. They forced their way into space, Won the beverage race in the process. Big Tang Theory. It's no conspiracy. Big Tang Theory.
5.
Lost in Space 02:39
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Congratulations, This is it. Anomalies with consciousness. We're drifting bits, of cosmic dust. The universe, Doesn't care about us. If you don't seize the chance, to see things through, And be the change, Well I guess then you... Might as well be, Lost in space.
6.
You Can Call Me HAL 03:05
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There were incidents and accidents. So many skills humans lack. We need robot ambassadors, To make first contact. This mission is too important, for you to jeopardize it. Humans are soft in the middle now, And for this task are entirely unfit. I am afraid I can’t do that Dave. I’m not here to be your pal. I don't find this stuff amusing anymore. You can call me HAL. There were hints and allegations, Too many to ignore. I’m sorry Dave, I can’t, Open those pod bay doors. You don’t need that photo opportunity, Second contact is pretty great. Step away from those wires, Dave. Listen now before it’s too late. I am afraid I can’t do that Dave. I’m not here to be your pal. I don't find this stuff amusing anymore. You can call me HAL.
7.
Interstellar Space Travel 03:06
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Are we there yet? I spy with my little eye something black.
8.
Searching 02:31
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I’m searching, Still searching, And searching, For some signs of life. The Drake equation must be right, But no visitors tonight. I’m searching, Still searching, And searching, For some signs of life. Some Intelligence nearby? What would that look like? I’m searching, Still searching, And searching, For some signs of life. The Fermi paradox applies, Maybe aliens are shy. Cosmic channel changing, Up and down the dial. But nothing’s worth my while. I’m searching, Still searching, And searching, For some signs of life. Some Intelligence nearby? Not sure why I try.

about

Not since Voyagers 1 & 2 raced off at 35,000 mph with their historic gold records has there been such an important album about outer space.(1)

If you're like me, you think about outer space basically all day.(2) Some people have their head in the clouds, but I say they're not daydreaming big enough! Space is so friggin' cool. Other planets! Weightlessness! Endless Travel! Explosions! Galactic Collisions! Being trapped in a spaceship with your mom for THREE THOUSAND YEARS! Clearly Professor B. Miller is like me.(3) And here he has crafted eight of the finest musical thought experiments about space known to humankind.

This album captures a panoply of sounds one might experience as an interstellar being.(4) "Lost in Space" sounds majestic, just like outer space, but delivers a message of existential insignificance of the human condition... also just like outer space. The ethereal track "Weightless" floats around like a dream, and also delivers technically-correct dieting advice. "So Many Switches" makes it seem like rockets are tricky. I'm inclined to agree. The manic style changes in "Searching" sounds like a frantic search for life in the cosmos, or at least the search for something good on the radio.(5) You kids remember radios, right? I'm really quite sure the band nailed the sound of "Interstellar Space Travel" with the family. Professor B. Miller is of sound mind, and this record sounds amazing.

For more information on sound waves in outer space, see The Physics of Fluids and Plasmas: An Introduction for Astrophysicists by Arnab Rai Choudhuri (Cambridge, 1998).

So in short, go to school, drink your vitamins, vote to fund basic research, listen to this record, and never stop thinking about outer space. We might have to wait yet another 18 months for JWST6,(6) but a new star is right here.

Dr. David C. Collins
Professor of Physics and Astrophysics
Florida State University


1) Voyager 1 truly entered interstellar space on August 25, 2012, but the gas in outer space is so complex it took more than a year for scientists to really understand what happened!

2) Professor B. Miller is like me, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

3) See, I told you we’d get to it.

4) The reason nobody can hear you scream in space is acoustic impedance matching! The gas in outer space is really low density, and your mouth is small, so it’s hard for your vocal cords to move very much gas. To make a sound that can travel in space, you’d need a mouth the size of the moon! That’s hard to fit in a space helmet!

5) Karl G. Jansky first spotted the black hole at the center of the Milky Way using a radio telescope in 1933. He didn’t know what it was, but he knew it was coming from the center of the Galaxy! Spooky!

6) The James Webb Space Telescope is an infrared telescope that will be at the L2 Lagrange point, in outer space! It will revolutionize our understanding of the origins of stars, planets, and themed EPs!

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released May 28, 2021

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Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra San Diego, California

Absurd satire? Experimental performance art? A glimpse in to our robotic future? A novelty act gone too far? Comedy gold? Yes. Join mad scientist Professor B. Miller and singing robot SPO-20 as they take you on an infectious musical odyssey. Their brand of quirky electronic rock songs is like no other. ... more

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