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Conjure the Paranormal

by Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra

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Maddy
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Ross Pullen
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1.
Call of the Chupacabra 03:08
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On a night like tonight When the moon shines bright The thirsty creature comes for goat-flavored delights Half drunk goats Staggering around No five second rule For the ones on the ground It’s such a horrifying sound A truly terrifying sound It’s already too late Their blood’s all gone listen For the call Of the chupacabra Their haunting howl Will send chills down your spine They’re never wearing pants That would be asinine The mysterious beast Often hides behind trees Goat-infused margaritas? Such a delicacy It’s such a horrifying sound A truly terrifying sound It’s already too late Their blood’s all gone listen For the call Of the chupacabra The call is coming The call is coming The call is coming from inside of your house It’s already too late Their blood’s all gone listen For the call Of the chupacabra
2.
Abe Lincoln 02:37
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Picked up my phone Because it started blinking Think I got a text From Abraham Lincoln It is certainly strange I didn't think he was alive Last I heard he died in 1865 The 16th president Was blowing up my cell How'd he get my number? I guess there's no way to tell Picked up my phone Because it started blinking Think I got a text From Abraham Lincoln Picked up my phone Because it started blinking Think I got a text From Abraham Lincoln Once I saw the message I immediately knew If you'd seen what he sent me you'd believe it too Don't recognize the number Who could be texting me? From beyond the grave It's Abe, apparently Picked up my phone Because it started blinking Think I got a text From Abraham Lincoln Picked up my phone Because it started blinking Think I got a text From Abraham Lincoln
3.
Bermuda Triangle 02:58
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I'm not avoiding it per se It's just really far away Did not affect my life today The Bermuda Triangle I spend almost no time Imagining why ships sink Or why radar’s out of sync In the Bermuda Triangle I'm barely scared Of the Bermuda Triangle I'm barely scared Of the Bermuda Triangle I'm barely scared Of the Bermuda Triangle I am alarmed by the Oval Office I live in fear of Hollywood Squares I’m terrified for the arctic circle A Rubik's Cube will plunge me into despair But I'm barely scared of the Bermuda Triangle I spend so little time wondering why all those planes go down Never to be found In the Bermuda Triangle It seems like a stretch To think Atlantis is involved Or Alien wormholes have evolved In the Bermuda Triangle I'm barely scared Of the Bermuda Triangle I'm barely scared Of the Bermuda Triangle I'm barely scared Of the Bermuda Triangle
4.
Wish I Was Possessed 03:08
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How was my day, you ask? Alright I suppose Nothing strange happened Nothing much to report Same routine as usual I lose track of time Days blend together But everything's fine I wish, I wish, I wish Wish i felt compelled to make my head spin or scratch some spiders underneath my skin Wish I could feel Like I'm not in control Spit out some pea soup Maybe more than one bowl Wish I was possessed Whoa oh oh, oh oh, oh oh Wish I was possessed Whoa oh oh, oh oh, oh oh I wish, I wish, I wish Wish I could sound like a demon and scribble on walls have green and clamy skin and pop out my eyeballs Want to crawl on the ceiling And not need an excuse Want to speak in tongues Make mashed potato statues Wish I was possessed Whoa oh oh, oh oh, oh oh Wish I was possessed Whoa oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
5.
Discount Psychic 02:22
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So you want to know the future But have nothing to spend Ask a yes or no question And we can begin Will I invent a new pillow? It is decidedly so Are mosquitoes real? My sources say no Discount Psychic, Discount Psychic A medium at a small price Discount Psychic, Discount Psychic A collect call from the afterlife Will you paint my picture ghost of Pablo Picasso? Outlook not so good, It is very doubtful We can channel the dead Although sometimes they're alive It's a complicated thing Connecting with the other side Discount Psychic, Discount Psychic A medium at a small price Discount Psychic, Discount Psychic A collect call from the afterlife Discount Psychic, Discount Psychic A medium at a small price Discount Psychic, Discount Psychic A collect call from the afterlife
6.
Full Moon Fever 02:33
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I'm either becoming a werewolf Or I'm just getting sick Hard to tell them apart But I need to know quick Might sound kinda petty But you don’t know how it feels Having werewolf symptoms Is really quite an ordeal I've got full moon fever Or at least it could be Once the moon comes out I guess we’ll see Might be Full Moon Fever Might be Full Moon Fever I’m definitely achey But I'm alright for now Though if I start feeling worse I might just breakdown The waiting is the hardest part As I anticipate my fate I feel like I’m free falling Soon it could be too late I've got full moon fever Or at least it could be Once the moon comes out I guess we’ll see Might be Full Moon Fever Might be Full Moon Fever
7.
Spirit Animal 02:16
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Been anxious and stressed out All my limbs are tight Took a yoga class But it never felt quite right I was overwhelmed Tried relaxation tapes It still didn't help so I learned to meditate My quest For inner peace Has been rough To say the least I was mauled by my spirit animal Whoa oh oh My quest For inner peace Has been rough To say the least I was mauled by my spirit animal Whoa oh whoa oh oh My therapist left town Referred me to the zoo I'm running out of options I don't know what to do Talked to monks, life coaches And animal control They were of no use Can no one save my soul? My quest For inner peace Has been rough To say the least I was mauled by my spirit animal Whoa oh oh My quest For inner peace Has been rough To say the least I was mauled by my spirit animal Whoa oh whoa oh oh
8.
Your House Isn't Haunted 02:49
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One could argue that’s A spooky doormat And with some caveats A possessed Thermostat The ceiling fans Spin the wrong way Were they built like that? who am I to say? Don’t exaggerate The structure’s fine Your house isn’t haunted Just what’s inside But everything else Seems okay Your walls don’t ooze I wouldn’t complain Just replace the couch, And that popcorn machine, Then you should be fine You’re overreacting Don’t exaggerate The structure’s fine Your house isn’t haunted Just what’s inside

about

Welcome to the weird and wondrous world of the Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra.

The Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra consists of a singing robot named SPO-20 and songwriter/multi-instrumentalist Professor B. Miller. They’ve been together for more than 20 years now, and thus far neither one has killed the other one.

The SPO made its disc debut in 2007 with a four-CD box set, which actually has five CDs. That’s the one with their hit tune “I Stole Your Daddy’s Time Machine.” The Professor solemnly swears that collection is the best-selling debut 4-CD box set with five discs in the history of the world. Considering the lack of competition, I’m inclined to believe him.

Now on to Conjure the Paranormal, the disc which you either own or are about to own. It’s the third of a series of twenty themed vinyl LP’s. The SPO worked on this one for a year or so, so we’ll be through numerous news cycles by the time they’re finished with all 20, but that’ll give you time to savor and treasure each one in its turn.

Highlights this time include “Full Moon Fever,” described by the Professor as “a song about a hypochondriac who isn’t sure if he has a cold or is about to turn into a werewolf… or it’s a secret tribute to Tom Petty.” “Abraham Lincoln” is about “how people are obsessed with celebrities and their inconsequential interactions with them.” On “Call of the Chupacabra” be sure and listen for the part right after the chorus where everything drops out so we can hear its call. One of the other songs is partly inspired by the possession scene in Beetlejuice, the part with Harry Belafonte singing “Jump in the Line.” And then there’s my current earworm, “Bermuda Triangle.”

As you soak in these salutary sounds from the magic groove on this disc (you do know that an LP only has one groove, right?) you will also experience the sounds of Korg Monotron analog ribbon synthesizers, a Moog Theremin, and musical or lyrical references to Close Encounters, The Exorcist, and The Munsters.

The audio and visual delights here are as thick as rivets on a robot. C’mon, go ahead and listen. Puppets can’t bite… but can a Satanic Puppeteer?

DR. DEMENTO
Member of the Comedy Music Hall of Fame and the National Radio Hall of Fame
MA in Folklore and Ethnomusicology, UCLA
American radio broadcaster and record collector specializing in novelty songs, comedy, and strange or unusual recordings
May 2019

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released September 13, 2019

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Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra San Diego, California

Absurd satire? Experimental performance art? A glimpse in to our robotic future? A novelty act gone too far? Comedy gold? Yes. Join mad scientist Professor B. Miller and singing robot SPO-20 as they take you on an infectious musical odyssey. Their brand of quirky electronic rock songs is like no other. ... more

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